One of the beauties of not having a job is that you get to leave home during the late hours of the morning, when the streets are quiet and calm, with only a few old ladies walking their dogs. On June 8th I was enjoying such a quiet morning. It was a beautiful autumn day in Cape Town. A chilly breeze was brushing against my face, but the sun was shining brightly.
I just love this kind of autumn weather, so I had decided to take a slow, long walk up to the station. Engrossed in thoughts, I studied the beautiful golden brown leaves that saturated the streets of Plumstead. The bare naked trees with their arty-looking branches looked sad to be losing more and more of their - I assume - beloved leaves.
Even though the trees told a sad story, the scenery was beautiful. The colors of the lifeless leaves were simply magnificent.
I was on my way to visit a sewing school, to find out if I could do a short course with them. That mission did not go so well, as I was told the classes only take place on Saturday, when I go to church. So I moved on to my next plan for the day, to invigilate an exam at UCT and make a few bucks in the process. This went smoothly, but when I went home after the exam I could not have guessed what I was about to hear.
When I was nearing the house I bumped into my sister, who asked me why my phone had been off. They had all been trying to call me. When she told me the news, I just kept thinking how odd it was that such a peaceful, beautiful day could suddenly end so dramatically. I quickly walked into the house and saw we had unusual guests. What I had just heard was confirmed when my little nephew Collins came running to me, pulled my hand and said to me: “Justine, my daddy is dead.”
It just broke my heart to hear my 6-year-old nephew tell me that. I ran to the room to switch on my phone and call my sister, but I just couldn’t because my eyes were filled with tears and my voice was shaky. How could I call her in that state? While I was trying to pull myself together my mother walked into the room, lamenting how her poor daughter is widowed at such a young age and she would be all alone now. At that moment I knew God would give me strength to be useful.
Later on I gathered the courage to call my sister. All I could say was that I was so sorry, but that I would be coming her way tomorrow with Collins, her son. I didn’t really know how yet, but we spent the rest of the night planning and I prayed to God, asking Him for strength.
In the early hours of the morning I left for Mozambique. Sooner than I could ever have expected, I was back on my journey. A journey that was about to change me once again.
Monday, August 15, 2011
useful
When I got back to Cape Town after my trip, I had become convicted deep down in my heart that I wanted to be a useful person. Not just useful to myself, but to others. I wanted to be helpful, to serve others in whatever God would call me to do.
At first I spent days attempting to study for a UNISA degree, but attempting slowly turned into pretending. I had moved back home so bills were not as pressing as before, and I was just not ready to even think of an office job like the one I came from.
I realised I would need to gain more practical skills and learn to be more useful to myself before I could start being useful to others. Some of the skills that were on my ever-growing list were sewing, natural healing/ herbs, photography, guitar playing, creative writing, crafts, children’s activities, how to homeschool, how to grow healthy locs and of course the most important was bible studying. I wanted to really know how to search the scriptures, how to learn prophecy and how to teach it.
I started looking for courses and started visiting second-hand shops, looking for cheap books that could help me. I spent a lot of time on the net and in the Exclusive Books store, going through books I could not afford to buy. During this time I was pleading with God to help me be a useful individual and not to think of things that concern only me.
In the future I would like to look back at my life and not have the kind of regrets where I wish I had done this or done that. And I want to prepare for wherever God will send me, so that I will be equipped to help myself, my family, friends and others around me.
I believe a time is coming when our worldly achievements will be of no value, because we will not be allowed to work, buy or sell. That is why I want to become an individual who can live anywhere, anytime and still be useful to people around me, not having to look back thinking: if only I had known.
At first I spent days attempting to study for a UNISA degree, but attempting slowly turned into pretending. I had moved back home so bills were not as pressing as before, and I was just not ready to even think of an office job like the one I came from.
I realised I would need to gain more practical skills and learn to be more useful to myself before I could start being useful to others. Some of the skills that were on my ever-growing list were sewing, natural healing/ herbs, photography, guitar playing, creative writing, crafts, children’s activities, how to homeschool, how to grow healthy locs and of course the most important was bible studying. I wanted to really know how to search the scriptures, how to learn prophecy and how to teach it.
I started looking for courses and started visiting second-hand shops, looking for cheap books that could help me. I spent a lot of time on the net and in the Exclusive Books store, going through books I could not afford to buy. During this time I was pleading with God to help me be a useful individual and not to think of things that concern only me.
In the future I would like to look back at my life and not have the kind of regrets where I wish I had done this or done that. And I want to prepare for wherever God will send me, so that I will be equipped to help myself, my family, friends and others around me.
I believe a time is coming when our worldly achievements will be of no value, because we will not be allowed to work, buy or sell. That is why I want to become an individual who can live anywhere, anytime and still be useful to people around me, not having to look back thinking: if only I had known.
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